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- Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
- At a military hospital door to colonoscopy: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
- On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
- On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
- Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
- Another Pizza shop slogan: "Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."
- At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
- Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
- At a dry cleaner: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
- At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
- On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
- In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
- At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
- On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
- In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
- On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
- At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
- In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
- At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you pay your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
- In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
- At a propane filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills."
- And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
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